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What is Appropriate? An introspection of being woman

Breaking barriers

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08 May '24
4 min read


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I seriously have a very important question to ponder upon " what is appropriate?" And how should we follow the protocol of being appropriate. As a woman i often stumble upon such unusually framed questions directly been asked and it initially irritated me but now It amuses and entertains me.I have developed a mechanism of quirky, witty and funny replies to all sort of questions which mostly question my appropriateness.

Am i allowed to be who I am? Am i allowed to choose what i have chosen in life? Are my life choices conventional to the sociatel standards? Am i allowed to stare back? Am i allowed to follow what my heart says? Am i allowed to show my love in a manner I want to anyone i please? Am i allowed to comment or give particular statement? Am i allowed to be vocal of my feelings? I'm pretty sure just like me millions of other women do share such tremendous pressure of being in the appropriate framework designed and developed for the woman of all age groups across all the sections of the society.

One such incident happened just few days back when a friend of mine got divorced i send her best wishes for gaining her independence once again and how happy as well as proud I'm for her brave and courageous decision. The lady who is my friend spoke to me after two days of receiving my message and she thanked me with joyous gratitude. She thought about my best wishes in the framework of being appropriate or inappropriate? The question was not mine to be answered but it was a personal quest which she herself has to undertake. She needs to answer to herself that coming out of a pathetic marriage of mental trauma in her mid 40s and celebrating the aspect of being single again. Open to whole new avenues, possibilities, new ventures as well as adventures of life, my best wishes rather than deep condolence of dead marriage gave her a much needed insight to rethink and rearrange her own train of thoughts, her newly acquired status as person who broke out from a very long time relationship of disharmony, self doubts, zero confidence, pity and regret. 

She came to terms with all her dilemma and thanked me with the same joy and vivaciousness i have experienced many many years ago. When we both studied in the same college pursuing our graduation. She was brilliant she is brilliant and now I'm so thankful she discovered her brilliance once again and no clouds of appropriations will again shatter her and bring rains of tears to her eyes. She cried enough for a life time. It's time for her to let go all the prejudices, all the judgements all the stereotypes she faced all these years trapped in an illusion of Happy Marriage.

Life is to be lived freely, independently happily, courageously. life is not meant to be distinguished between two columns of appropriate and inappropriate. Woman though subjugated to the verge of losing identity should understand her life is not to please the sociatel standards of acceptance. Life is not about living appropriately life is about living fulfilled with self acceptance and deciding own standards of appropriateness. It's high time to shattered the shackles of sociatel appropriateness and encourage new system of thoughts and believes for the coming generations of women. And rewrite the basics of appropriateness of our world . Let us make place for every woman who fought her battles and still fighting let us make celebration of divorce, of being childless, of being single , of being starting up late in career and many more. 

Cheer to womanhood

Silvia Peter 



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Written by Silvia Peter

Thoughtful observer