This incident happened long ago, maybe around 15 years, but it remains etched in my memory forever. I have mentioned it to lot many people and have always wanted to share it on a National Platform, as I am doing today.
Going down memory lane, it was a scene from a typical educated middle class family where the young parents feel overjoyed on securing a seat for their young toddler in a prestigious school! Both my husband and myself were going through the same elation and were excited to prepare our child for the new school. Of course it meant lot of lifestyle changes like early dinners, early sleep routines, looking for healthy tiffin box recipes and so on. The last week before the school reopening saw the height of excitement with the new uniforms, branded shoes ( Yes, the tiniest pair!), jerseys, project books and school bags, lunch bags, tiffin boxes and water bottles.
Finally the first day of School dawned and our three year old son woke up earlier than usual, all excited and got ready in a jiffy too! Promptly at 7:30 am the school van arrived with Van Uncle honking to let us know about his arrival (not worried about the noise pollution he just created)! The door opened and a young lad with a shy smile welcomed our little son and helped him get into the van and made him comfortable. Needless to say, I had butterflies in my stomach, waving at my baby, and couldn’t help feeling he was growing up too fast.
At 1:00, my son returned happy but tired and had lots to share with us- about his experiences at school, his new friends and the Van Uncle. When asked about the young lad, he just replied that he was Aagaa Uncle but he did not speak to anyone.
Day after day this routine continued and everytime our little one would say the same about Aagaa Uncle repeating that he never intervened even when the children fought amongst themselves but would just smile and look out of the window.
One day, our Sonny boy returned with tears welling up in his beautiful big eyes. On probing further, with quivering lips he confessed that someone had opened his tiffin box and ate up his food, leaving him hungry. As a young mother I was shocked and could not imagine my son remaining hungry for 4 hours! I asked him whether Aagaa Uncle did not try to help him out and he said, “No! He simply put the box back and looked out of the window!”
Listening to this, I was furious! What was this Aagaa Uncle doing in the van, not interacting with anyone and not even helping out the little children? Was it not his duty to look after them when they are so vulnerable and unable to take care of themselves?
So, much against my husband’s wishes ( as a Dad he always felt our son needs to learn to take care of himself), I decided to confront this Aaga Uncle! Next day, when Van arrived and the door opened- I gave him a long lecture on how he should be more responsible and respond to situations etc. But to my surprise, Aagaa just smiled, nodded and after settling down my son, went back to sit down and gaze out of the window! How ridiculous and arrogant was this behaviour! To my dismay, the van sped off as Van Uncle was in a hurry to pick up many other children.
The next four hours I was in total anxiety. What if Aagaa Uncle took out his anger on my son? What if he wasn’t as calm and nice as he looked? The more I thought, the more I shuddered to think if any harm would come to my son! I was all ready to file a complaint to the Police, stating that the minor child was not looked after well. My mind was gripped with fear and negative thoughts and no amount of deep breathing calmed me down.
It was only when our son arrived, looking happy and cheerful, and seemed to have forgotten the previous day’s events that I realised that probably I was sheepishly overreacting.
I decided not to let the matter die but approach using a different strategy to tackle Aagaa Uncle.
The next day, again when Aagaa uncle opened the van door for our son, I did not let him shut it but looked at him squarely asking a straight question as to how could he tolerate so much noise which the children made and yet not react?
I was pretty proud of myself using this new strategy as I knew for sure that now Aagaa could not escape anywhere!
The reply that I got shook me completely ! Aagaa simply gestured his hand towards his mouth and gave out a loud shout AAGAAAA- shaking his head all the time and then smiling. Only then I realised that this young lad had a speech and hearing disability and could only manage this sound. Hence the name Aagaa stuck to him.
I was so embarrassed and filled with remorse at myself. This young Aagaa was trying not to highlight his disability and yet trying to lead a normal life, inspite of his odds. And here was I- who was judgemental about him and had convinced myself that he was even capable of harming others.
The reason why I write about this is, many times in our life, we have our own perceptions about other people which may not be true. Is it fair on them? Is there any way where we can correct ourselves? Let’s retrospect on this and come back again. Until then , put your thinking caps on!