It was mommy's big day

She had doubts , she was unsure , she spent many a sleepless night as she tossed and turned wondering if she had done right 
She longed to talk to "her" , to just be reassured that she would live up to the expectations 
She wanted a few moments with "her" alone 
To sit awhile and ponder , to make sure she had not blundered 
She thought for hours and furrowed her brows 
She could'nt bring herself to tell anyone else but "her" 
She did , picking up some courage finally 
tell "her" as she sat to write 
She wrote a few lines , read and reread them 
Wondered if they were apt 
A comma here , an exclamation there 
A statement made , a thought provoked , 
She asked "her" and heaved a deep sigh 
She rehearsed a hundred times , afraid and uncertain if she would remember it all 
She asked "her" yet again if she should do an extempore or plain read , she heaved a sigh again 
Finally confident she had got it all she counted hours before it would get done 
She prayed earnestly not to flounder 
She picked herself up on D Day 
She missed "her" as she rehearsed one last time missing rehearsing with "her" correcting  her diction , her voice modulation , 
She missed "her" as she dressed to go, a lil help from "her" would have been good she thought as she pinned her saree into place 
She thought of "her" as she tucked those misbehaving wisps of hair in place , "her" help in placing it a neat bun amissing
A final prayer on her lips , she left , the prayer getting fervent as she reached the venue , 
She missed the hug "her" hands  would have given her , just before she got off her car 
She climbed the stage all alone and sat amongst the dignataries , surrounded by the crowd , yet her heart feeling all alone 
She gave away prizes to many lil girls ,  congratulating each one , trying to see "her" in them , yet her heart ached 
The cameras flashed and the videographer zoomed in , she squirmed quietly , wishing it was "her" behind them , for if it was, "she" would know when to click the shutter , the best angle , the pose that wouldn't embarrass , the pose that wouldn't highlight her flawed vision 
She heard her name being called out , the "chief guest ", she looked , eyes searching to get that approval from "her" , her own heavy sigh was all she could hear in the silence that followed 
She walked up to the mike , started the way she had rehearsed , faltered a bit and then she spoke , spoke her heart out like she would to "her"  , her figment of imagination !
"Chandni " it was mommy's big day and she #majormissedyou !